While Times Remains

This is the first I've written here in almost four years. It may be one of the last things I write for a while or for forever. The last post for this blog I wrote was in 2020 while I was still in South Korea. The pandemic was in full swing and the presidential election between Biden and Trump had yet to lose his reelection. My wife and I had not started the Green Card process, and I was at the beginning of my Master's Studies. 

Flash forward to today and I have that Master's degree. My wife has her Green Card and Trump is once again president. While so much went forward for me the US went backwards. 

So much has gone backwards globally in the past two years. The world I knew has changed, fundamentally in ways I profoundly feel but which I can't fully comprehend at least in this moment. What I do know is all of us, Democrat, Independant, Republican, MAGA, Christian, Muslim, Buddhist, Atheist, Jew, Gay, Bi, Straight, Man, Woman, Trans, Black, White, Hispanic, Asian, American, non-American, Documented and Undocumented; we're going to have a hard road ahead. It will be dark, it will be bitter, and destructive, and soul destroying. 

And, hey, maybe I will be proven wrong. Maybe by 2028 all of us are able to be in Trump's Golden Age. I'm 1000% open to that possibly and would gleefully accept it. 

But that won't be. It would be naive to pretend otherwise, especially for those of us who have opposed MAGA and Trump. The best-case scenario, frankly, is that he and his people are not as terrible to not as many people as they could. But, again, I think that won't be. 

I've lived in authoritarian states at different times of my life. I've seen how ugly it can get. But to have that authoritarianism on the horizon for the first time in my country of birth, is profoundly sickening and unnerving. 

I'm frightened for those of us outside MAGA. Those who don't have the privilege I have of being a white dude will suffer far more. But there is no good future ahead for anyone, at least for four years, and probably beyond. The America and the world order I knew and experienced in my travels is fundamentally, going, going and will soon be gone. Whatever will be in its place will not be not be what any of us want, including I believe most of who voted for Trump who will also be hurt by what he and his clique have planned. 

I am profoundly aware that with all the branches of the federal government under MAGA control, there will be nothing after January that will stop Trump from indulging in the worst of the worst of human cruelty. We're in there hands, from Florida to Oregon, to Arkansas to Ukraine, to Mexico, to Israel, to Gaza. Whatever they decide we will suffer from it. 

I, like many, am trying to figure out for myself and the ones I love what to do. Colleagues of mine already are planning to leave the red state we work in for a blue, coastal one for some semblance of protection from what's coming. 

We will try to do that ourselves very soon. We were planning to already but what has happened solidifies that we need to try our best to go somewhere But in truth the fascism (and yes, I will name it) that Trump embraces will spread across the world very soon too. Other right-wing parties across the world will feel profoundly emboldened and will be on the march to take control of their governments soon too. There is in truth, no safe haven, for anyone for what's coming and while I'm profoundly, utterly afraid in many ways, I am picking myself up shard at a time while looking back and looking forward. 

I am grateful for the life I've led up to this point. For the thirty countries I was able to see in 36 years. For the privilege of teaching students and helping them succeed as best I could. For completing a Master's Degree and for getting a job directly related to that field (which in truth, I fear may not be around for much longer due to Trump's return). For self-publishing one novel on Amazon and publishing a few articles here and there over the years. For meeting the love of my life and being able to marry and experience the world with them. For being blessed enough to give her a couple years away from work so she could recuperate. For the amazing parents and sisters and friends who have filled my life for joy. 

I am also looking ahead to the two to three months we have before the start of the darkness. A time to cherish what and who I have still profoundly. If I have one piece of advice to give all of you who are afraid of what's coming, it's this. Take these next few months and live as earnestly and passionately as you can. Love those around you. Make plans for how you can cope and be safe as best you can. Find a way to save the pieces of art and beauty that might be taken away after January. Steel yourself for the darkness and read about the dark times that came before. It's hard but it will help. Mourn for this loss for the US and the world. 

We have a long way to go. Darkness is coming, but we are the lights we seek. However small and isolated they may make you feel, you are, never have been, and never will be alone. Find a way to remember this yourself should the time come when there is nothing else left. I wish you well, I mean this more than I ever have, and for those I know or who I may never meet or know I'll leave you with a quote from one of my favorite quotes from one of my favorite films: 

"An inch. It is small and it is fragile and it is the only thing in the world worth having. We must never lose it or give it away. We must NEVER let them take it from us. I hope that whoever you are, you escape this place. I hope that the worlds turns, and that things get better. But what I hope most of all is that you understand what I mean when I tell you that, even though I do not know you, and even though I may never meet you, laugh with you, cry with you, or kiss you, I love you. With all my heart, I love you."

If Trump is Strong, I Want to Be Weak

 

I'm not a fan of Trump. Anyone who reads what I write and sees my FB posts can see that. 

 

Whenever I share something about him a little debate goes on in my mind about whether to post that meme or article. 

 

'Do you really want to give the man the attention he so desperately craves?' The cautious part of my mind asks. 

 

'A huge segment of the electorate and the media gives him that attention anyway.' I reason. 'And they often don't recognize him for the fascist blowhard he is.'

I had this same debate with myself while trying to decide on whether to dedicate a blog-post to his candidacy. I decided it was worth it.

 

If nothing else, I can make sure there's a public record of where I stood on his candidacy during this election. 

 

I want to write this, not in the hopes of swaying his supporters. I'm almost certain they will defend the man regardless of anything he says or does. I write this in the hope that people who may regard him as just a joke will see just how dangerous he could be for America and for the world.

If I boil my feelings on the man's campaign down to one word, that word is 'repulsive'. 

 

His personality, his platform (if his ramblings can even be called that), his manipulation of people's fears and prejudices, his willingness to dish out insults but throw a hissy-fit if anyone attacks him, his gleeful pride of his own ignorance, his blatant, never-ending ego-masturbation. 

 

There is nothing, nothing redeemable about what this man says or stands for. His ravings represent a version of America that mindlessly indulges the darkest parts of our history and society. 

 

Like many populist demagogues throughout history, he gives his followers a temporary but ecstatic high of security and confidence by making them part of his own grand myth. He makes his people the heroes of an epic story in which they are 'winners' and every problem in their life is the fault of some other (Immigrants, Muslims, Liberals, the Media). 

 

Hitler did it, Mussolini did it and now Trump follows in their goosestepping wake. He is creating his own simplistic black and white universe for anxious Americans, angry (often justifiably) at all things established to lose themselves in. It's a universe removed from the complex nature of reality. But it's a simple one to accept and understand, which is why it has such appeal in a time of anxious uncertainty.

And it is that willingness to swallow Trump's koolaid that is most frightening. What Trump says is repulsive but I think there is still an argument to be made that he is simply a reality tv-showman playing to his audience's fears. There's still some doubt in my mind over whether he is truly committed to all the BS he spouts. 

 

What is far more troubling to me are the people who get so lost in his fantasy that they begin to see everyone who differs or disagrees with them as an enemy. The example of two Boston men beating up and urinating on a homeless Hispanic man in Trump's name could just be the tip of the iceberg.

Once this kind of alternate, Nativist fantasy is mainstream (as I fear it is becoming) it can be hard to get rid of. Even if the story itself is inconsistent people cling to it because they need that story to make them feel empowered. 

 

For the kind of mythology Trump peddles is not for strong, secure people. His story of  'Make America Great Again' is for those who are profoundly insecure and doubt themselves in a time of change. 

 

And that includes Trump. He needs to believe his own BS perhaps even more than his followers do.

He bristles as every hard question thrown his way by reporters. He feuds with those few voices in the mainstream media that call him out on making up stories about Muslims cheering the collapse of the World Trade Center. He throws personal insults like a toddler when his own tweets get read back to him for a debate.

 

Is this the mark of a secure strong leader? 

 

A man who styles himself as a strong leader who will make America great, cannot handle a tough line of questioning and talks lustfully about punching protesters in the face when they try and disrupt his rallies.

 

If this is what strength is in Donald Trump's America, if it is measured not by how well you can engage your opponent in mutual discussion but by how loudly you can shout, pout and throw a tantrum when the entire world does not declare you to be the best man in the universe, than I am perfectly fine being weak. 

 

If winning in Donny's United States is demonizing others to make yourself feel better, I'm happy to be called a loser. 

 

If being great, means having an ego so frail that it can be shattered with a single question, than I earnestly embrace being small. 

 

Donald Trump is a clown, but he is a dangerous clown. And if the people of America lose themselves in his world we deserve everything that comes next.