Anyone who has never wished for death has never truly lived.
Does that sound harsh to you?
It is. But it is true. I wish it weren’t so but it is. The
universe is harsh; those who thrive it more so.
However, that doesn’t mean joy can’t be found.
As I put these thoughts down I am a woman of considerable
I have flown from one side of the Galaxy to the other. I’ve
killed men and women of all races.
Often in defense, often for money. Occasionally, for
By the values of all the Galaxy’s peoples and the tenants of
all religions I am considered irredeemable.
I understand this. Being a thug, a war criminal, a religious fanatic, a pirate, an assassin, a bounty hunter, a turncoat and a thief- any of these are horrible vocations. I was all of them at one point in my life.
I was pushed into many by circumstance.
Still, my actions are mine and the bad deeds far outweigh the redeeming ones.
Yet I have known joy and love. I have gained and lost them
and come close to turning my own lethal hands against myself.
Still, I am here to put these words down and share my story
for those who care to know it.
I think perhaps, I am rambling a bit. Let me start with the
Who am I? What am I? Where do I come from? What have I done?
Who am I?
My name is Andur. Many peoples of many races in our Galaxy
have a surname. I do not, though I am sure my ancestors did at some point.
What am I? This is a complex question to me.
There are many answers I could give. Many answers you could
So I will tell you the two aspects of myself most others
notice when they first meet me.
I am human. This is how Jideenians, Boroshians, Voshens,
Centuri, the Bezon and all the other non-teren races of our Galaxy define me
when I first meet them.
Some say we humans are judgmental, gruff, or if you follow
Earth’s frequent conflicts with her neighbors, militaristic.
I will only say this in response: We are, but so is everyone
So, for better and worse, I am human.
I am also a woman a female. This is usually the second thing
noticed about me by non-humans. The first if I am among my own kind.
I have always been female. In body and spirit. I do not
identify with any other gender, though sometimes I wish humans had more than
one as other races do.
So now you know I am a woman.
There are many other aspects of what I am but that will be
elaborated on later.
Now to the last two questions.
Where do I come from and what have I done with my terrible life?