Only the Sky is Forever- Preview

Below is a short excerpt from my new book, 'Only the Sky is Forever'. It's the opening prolouge which provides the foundational story for the book's universe. 'Only the Sky is Forever' comes out this week exclusively on Amazon.

 The Making of the World

The Maker created our world and the two that came before it.

In the world before ours, the people of the land were powerful and blessed by the hands that made them. They lived well off the land. There was game to hunt in the forests, water to drink in the streams, corn to harvest in the fields.

But the people of the land grew greedy, proud and took much more than they needed. The animals and other creatures began to suffer and starve.

Seeking to rebuke them for their trespasses, the Maker appeared to the people of the land and gave them a warning.

'Take only what you need,” the Maker said. “Do not abuse the other creatures or each other and I shall promise to one day give you all my power and wisdom. Become greedy again, and I shall sweep you away and make a new people in your place.”

The people of the land consented to their Maker's offer, promising not to take as much as they had before.

Yet within a short time the people turned their backs on their promise, slaughtering all the animals, cutting the trees and spoiling the soil.

Enraged and saddened, the Maker took vengeance. From the Maker's shed tears Unktehi the horned water serpent of deconstruction was born. She covered the land in a flood, drowning the people.

When all were gone and the lands submerged, the Maker looked over the waters with the Sun above them. Playing four songs on a medicine lute, the Maker created a new world, the one we know today.

The first song, caused the earth to rise from beneath the waters

The second song, caused the mountains, trees and animals to rise from the earth.

The third song, brought forth the new people, other walking and speaking beings and those great spirits that are both human and animal.

The fourth song, removed the heart of Unktehi from her body which caused the great snake to fall into the lake on the top of Serpent Mountain where her body remains to this day.

The Maker hid Unktehi's heart, that the serpent could not return. To this day, the Maker keeps the new watch over the world and all those who inhabit it. 

 

 

Only the Sky is Forever- Plot Summary

“Life is not separate from death. It only looks that way.” -Blackfoot Proverb

For as long as their world has existed, skin-changers Coyote and Iktome have walked its fields, traveled its forests and climbed its mountains. One day, all that they know is put in danger when a force of nature known only as 'the girl' emerges from the South. As the 'the girl' threatens everything they care for, these two old friends embark on a journey with a group of companions to find the key to unlocking the girl's past and their future.

Creation, destruction and finding purpose in the face of annihilation are some of the themes in this Native American Fantasy novel, 'Only the Sky is Forever'. 

 

 

 

Available on Amazon in E-Book Format April 28th. 

Here and There- Teaching in the US vs Teaching in Thailand

For the last two weeks I've been working as a substitute teaching assistant in a special needs classroom at an elementary school in Kansas. The ten days I've spent assisting the six students at this elementary school has been my first exposure to the US education system. It is a very different experience from my teaching career in Thailand and it's not just the fact that I speak the same first language as my students. For this post I thought, I would talk about some of contrasts I've seen between the Thai and American schools I've taught in. Disclaimer: I don't think either system is perfect.That said, I'll start with some aspects of my US experience that I think are better before I detail some aspects of American education that I don't think are very positive.

Class Size

Going from thirty eight first graders in Thailand to six in the US is amazing. Granted, the kids I help teach now all have similar temperaments to the seven or eight naughty students I would inevitably find in each of my Thai classes. When you have at least one student each day getting into a brawl or throwing a temper tantrum, it can be exhausting. However, the plus side to the US school is that I no longer have to worry about another thirty six or seven kids losing focus while I deal with two boys breaking each others faces over a batman figure. I can focus all my energies on the one student throwing his fit, in a classroom where he doesn't distract other kids.

Students with Learning Disabilities

 

This brings me to the next big difference. The fact that at my Thai school, there were no programs for children with severe disabilities. They were thrown into the mix with everyone else and there was no clear method to integrate them into the classroom or develop specific activities that would cater to their strengths. This makes my current experience in a classroom designed specifically for learning disabled children all the more remedying. It's comforting to see kids who struggle in this way get special attention and devotion.

Periods and Days

With little children, less is always more. That's a firm belief after two years of watching Thai first graders struggle to make it through eight or nine hour days filled with fifty minute periods. Children have short attention spans. The younger they are, the faster you'll lose them. At the school I'm working at now, each first grade class only goes for twenty five minutes. Their days are only seven hours long, including two recesses, lunch and PE. This make the students' lives and mine a lot easier. In Thailand when 3:00 came we'd still have two more hours to go and we teachers would be struggling tooth and nail to hold onto our students, whose energies were spent.

 

 

Freedom of the Students

In Thailand, students were given a lot of personal freedom around campus. Even my first graders were expected to move on their own if they had a class in a separate building. This often meant it took them fifteen or twenty minutes to walk thirty feet, especially when they found cool things like bugs to distract them. Students were also expected to come back on their own from recess and break. Not surprisingly, you'd find a few boys lingering outside or wandering around the backside of the buildings during the next few periods. In the States, students need teacher's to walk them around the corner of the hall to go to lunch. Teacher's need to watch the students get picked up and go home. Bottom line, here in the US there's a feeling young children need to be watched and supervised when they move around the school. If they aren't, this is seen as endangering the children and a liability for the school.

Security and Level of Paranoia

The US is a very paranoid country, in my opinion. It seems like we worry about everything trying to kill us, especially if you watch the latest local news story about how cottage cheese could give you cancer. Americans are also scared of some calamity befalling their children. It's only natural to be concerned for children and to want to protect them. Mass shootings and child abduction are real dangers. However, I think Americans spend an unusual amount of time thinking about security and how they can die, especially since they live in a country that doesn't have to deal with issues like active civil wars, regular bombings, or pandemic diseases. A lot of this fear, I think, is due to US media which is a topic for another day. I got a glimpse of this fear at work at Eudora when there a low level lock-down do to gunshots being fired nearby. It might sound alarming but the school is in a very rural area where hunters track turkeys. Regardless, some of my co-teachers were alarmed and visibly tense in spite of this knowledge.

Personal Space 

 

No matter where you are in the world, little children crave physical attention. In Thailand, giving one of your students a friendly hug, a high-five, or a tap on the shoulder isn't necessarily taboo. For me, I found occasionally giving a student a bit of physical attention refocused them. In the States though, teacher's and students maintain a significant bit of personal space between each other. No physical contact of any kind should be made unless it's an emergency. There are legitimate concerns in this area. I definitely understand that. But, once again I feel as if people in the US go too far in their safety concerns. One student I teach now in the special ed class, is highly affectionate. Much like my students in Thailand his instinct is to greet me with a hug. However, because this isn't Thailand I have to tell him to mind his personal space. The principle told me minding his personal space was an issue he struggles with. That's a truly sad state of affairs when giving too many hugs is regarded as a problem.

Filling the Time

In Thailand, I wouldn't really feel obliged to have something to do during free periods. It's nice to have a break when you've been standing in front of the mob for an hour or two. My jobs in certain developing countries have been similar. You don't have to be 100% productive 100% of the time. In the States though, even when you don't have things to do you're expected to be busy in some way, or at least appear to be so. If you're not constantly doing something, than something's wrong. I almost wonder if Americans are afraid of silence and stillness. I had a fellow teaching assistant comment the other day during a twenty minute break between classes that she felt awful when she wasn't doing something. I think the US could learn something from embracing the Thai notion of 'sabai' (letting things go).

The Ides of March- 15 Things that Happened on My Birth-Date

44 BC - Julius Caesar is Assassinated 

 

 

 

1391 - Anti-Jewish Riots Occur in Seville, Spain as a Precursor to the Spanish Inquisition

 

 

1493 - Christopher Columbus Returns to Spain from the Americas After His First Voyage Across the Atlantic

 

 

1783 - George Washington Convinces Disgruntled Military Officers Not to Launch a Coup Against the US Congress

 

1820 - Maine is Admitted to the US as its 23rd State

 

1892 - Jesse W. Reno Patents the Reno Inclined Elevator; the World's First Escalator

 

1907 - Finland Becomes the First Country in Europe to Give Women the Right to Vote

 

1917 - Nicholas II, the last Tsar of Russia, Abdicates Bringing an End to the Three Hundred Year Old Romanov Dynasty

 

1939 - Nazi Forces Occupy Czechoslovakia 

 

1951 - Iranian Prime Minister, Mohammed Mossadegh, Nationalizes Iran's Oil Industry. This Paved the Way for a CIA Backed Coup that would Overthrow Him, Restore the Shah to Power and return oil rights to US and British Companies

 

1965 - In a Joint Address to Congress, American President Lyndon Johnson Asks Both House to Ensure Voting Rights for All Americans in the Wake of The Civil Rights Act

 

1972 - Francis Ford Coppola's 'The Godfather' Premiers in New York City

 

1985 - The First Internet Domain Name is Registered (symbolics.com) 

 

1990 - Mikhail Gorbachev Becomes President of the Soviet Union. 

 

 

2011 - Activists in Syria Call for a "Day of Rage" Across The Country to Protest Against Their Government. At Least Two Hundred People Protest in Damascus and the Syrian Uprising Begins.

 

 

Hospitalization- Waiting in the Void

It was one Monday ago; my second week in Kansas and my third week in the US.

In the living room, I was standing across from my father who was sprawled out on a blue recliner. Five men were buzzing around him. Paramedics and EMTs in blue sweatshirts and sheriff's deputy in brown watching them. They were attaching cords to my dad's chest, reading indecipherable lines on strips of red paper rolling out of little machines in duffel bags.

 I stood in my black jacket alongside one of my sisters (home from college for Spring Break) as my mother calmly searched her laptop for information on their insurance plan. I listened as my father talked to these men, who had swept into our home in a tide of sirens and flashing lights. He told them what he had told us a half hour or so earlier. There was pain radiating from the center of his torso. He was sweating and disoriented.

Was it a heart attack? We didn't think so. Nevertheless it was serious. My mother sister and I had could see that and the men we called confirmed it.

A stretcher was wheeled in through the front door and the men helped my father walk the two or three steps he needed to take to get into the recliner.  

 It was then that I put words to a new feeling rising inside me: "When you called 911, you gave him to them."  

 My family was "Putting his life into someone else's hands." When I thought of this phrase before, I had always pictured the situation it described from the perspective of the person who's well being was in danger. Yet as my mother left with the ambulance and my sister and I stayed behind, I experienced these words from the side of one invested in that ambiguous life but unable to influence the next stage.

I was in a void, a void of inaction and uncertainty. Each new bit of information my mother texted us from the ER unveiled a little more about my father's condition. Every time something new was revealed, we would go instantly to Web MD or one of the other medical sites to fill in any remaining gaps.

As the night passed the culprit was revealed; pancreatitis. Some time after that my sister and I made the trip to the hospital and saw our father off to his room. We drove home with our mother, leaving our dad to the care of his nurses and their morphine.We were a little more knowledgeable of the circumstances we found ourselves in. Yet still, over the next few days we continued waiting in the void. This was all we could do. Yet there were times when that was the last thing I wanted to do.

We people, and perhaps we Westerners above all others, spend much of our lives trying to control and shape our destinies. We believe we should be able to control everything about our lives. We try our hardest to boil the madness and ambiguity of life into simple full proof formulas that will enable us to achieve all we want and avoid any pitfalls.

In truth, we control o so very little of what happens to us. Uncertainty and change are the monarchs of our existence not rebellious elements within it. 

Yet we can look Uncertainty in the face and smile without giving into Fatalism. Humankind has a remarkable ability to bounce back. The days passed the men and women we had trusted in were able to make my father's inflamed pancreas settle. Chances are he will be home today or tomorrow thanks to their tireless work.

He will have to have other procedures after this. Nevertheless, the worst is over and the void, which I've grown accustomed to, is receding. And there will be many laughs and times of joy ahead for my family in this, our world of Ambiguity. 

Here and There -Thoughts on Reverse Cultural Shock

 

A little over a week ago I came back to the US from Thailand. Moving from country to country, continent to continent is something I'm used to. That said, I still get reverse culture shock every time I come back to the country of my birth. Though the world is always getting smaller, there are some big differences in the way cultures across the world think and operate. If you're an ex-pat, one of your biggest challenges is often having to readjust some aspects of your self to fit the particular culture you find yourself living in at that time.

 

I thought I'd share some of the recent experiences that made me a bit discombobulated as I try to put myself into America mode after being abroad for another two years.

 

 

-Instinctively Wanting to Say Thank You in Another Language Besides English

 

When I came back to the US last Thursday, I touched down in San Francisco so I could meet up with some friends. Staying in the Bay Area meant that I was in close proximity to a number of immigrant communities and a diverse range of cultures. 

In some ways this made the process of going back easier. At the same time, encountering so many nationalities behind the counter of a restaurant or store instinctively made me want to say thank you in one of the languages I've used over the years besides English. This was, I'll add, regardless of whether the person in front of me knew said language or not. I was able to catch myself most of the time though I still ended up saying 'Kup Khun Krap' in Thai to an Afghan man.

 

-Remembering that Trains Do Arrive On Time Here

It's not just trains though. Everything here arrives on time...or they're supposed to. Planes, trains, automobiles. They're expected to be fueled up, checked out and ready to go when you are. People are flustered or outraged if there's a long delay. 

 

A timetable in a train or bus station in Thailand or Egypt is often outdated or only followed half-heartedly. It's a surprise in those corners of the world if anything takes off on time without some sort of delay. 

As such, I tend to be skeptical or schedules and timetables everywhere, though they're far more revered in the States than in the other places I've lived.

 

 

-Being Awkwardly Cautious when Crossing the Street 

 

The fact that laws and regulations are regularly enforced in the US makes me extra cautious. That's especially true when I cross the street. Unlike other parts of the world you can't always bolt across in the middle of traffic. For the most part, pedestrians in the States use the cross-walks and drivers stop for them as they move. I'm used to this system now, just as I'm used to bolting in other countries. However, for the first few days that I'm back on US soil, I find myself standing awkwardly on certain sidewalks resisting the urge to suddenly sprint through the gaps between two cars to get to the other side.

 

 

 -Seeing Impoverished White People

My longest experiences abroad have been in countries where there the majority of the population is not Caucasian. While I'm living there, the only other White Westerners I see are people working abroad like myself, retirees tourists. All of them are okay financially, in contrast to some (not all) but some of the local population. Put more simply, you don't see white people begging or sleeping on the street in Bangkok or Cairo.

In Oakland or DC or Chicago, that's not at all the case. It can be jarring to remember that not everyone is as well off in the West as you might think.

-Understanding Everything that Everyone is Saying 

I have smatterings from a variety of languages stuck in my head, from Thai to Arabic. However, I'm only fluent in English. As such, when I'm outside the US I can only understand bits and pieces of conversations that are going on around me in another language. 

This all changes when I'm back in the States. Suddenly, everyone around me speaks the same language I do and it can overwhelm my ears.

-The Bluntness of American Speech

Americans are direct and very blunt. This isn't in and of itself a bad thing. However, when you come from Southeast Asia, where hospitality and politeness are extremely important and vital matters are handled in a roundabout way, it can be a little shocking. 

-You Can't Really Tell Who is a Foreigner and Who Isn't at First Glance 

 

Americans are an extremely diverse people. A person being of Asian, Hispanic, Middle Eastern, or African descent isn't an accurate gauge for whether someone is or isn't American. This a beautiful aspect f American life and it can also be a challenging one for those re-assimilating after being gone for a while. Even though you're American and even though the internet still makes you feel connected to the States, you do miss certain developments in the culture. And at a first glance, you're expected to know how to act and how to speak all the time. 

Departure, Farewell and Liberation- Saying Goodbye Again

After almost two years of living in Chiang Mai, I'm saying goodbye once again. It's been a great and liberating experience for me to come back to the city I grew up in. I've loved reconnecting with Thailand while also experiencing a very different side of it through my time in it's education system. While the job wasn't always easy, I grew from it and for perhaps the first time in my life I feel a strong sense of confidence and assurance. It wasn't until my last few days on the job in late January that I realized how far I had come since those chaotic first few days of trying to reign in the first graders. It wasn't as I wound up my time at PRC that I saw how well I could deal and manage thirty eight little kids. As I hugged half a dozen 1/10 kids for the last time, trying my best to soothe a few red and teary eyes, I saw how much I meant to some of these children.

 While it's been hard to say goodbye once again, to the school, to the kids, to my hometown and the people I've gotten to know here I don't feel bad about it. I don't feel sadness or reluctance to depart. I'm certain that it's time for me to go. I'm looking forward to my future studies and the new frontiers I'll be opening up in the US. I'm also looking towards what comes after. To teaching jobs in schools across the globe and the realization that my time back in Thailand has helped lay the foundation for what comes next.

 Not only do I feel hopeful but, more importantly, I feel liberated. From what, you might ask? From myself.

 When I came back to Thailand in 2013 I was returning for two reasons. First, I wanted to reconnect with my hometown after seven years of being away. Second, and just as important as the first, I wanted to jump into a new field 'teaching' and in the process hopefully discover a new sense of purpose and center my life once again.

 It was very important to me to find a new life for myself, especially after I reluctantly left Egypt due to visa issues and a ton of personal hardship and heartache.

 In sum, I came back to look for something new amongst the familiar. After such a long passage of time the city was very different. It had ballooned in size. New malls were everywhere. Areas far out from the center of the town which had been empty when I left in 06 were now covered with trendy cafes and upscale shops. Most of the people I had known had departed as well. I made new friends though, and I made a new life.

 Living here as an adult, I dealt with the first time with adult problems. I paid rent and dealt with traffic and commutes. As an adult, my life in Chiang Mai was completely different.

 Yet the easy going spirit of he city remained the same. The hospitality and flexibility of Thai culture remained unchanged and there were just as many if not more open minded ex-pats to help open windows to new frontiers.

 Discovering that the home of yesteryear was gone did not make me despair. Instead, I reforged myslef with new steel with an old hammer and anvil.

 That in and of itself makes me feel deeply accomplished.

 I am now liberated. Now that I know for sure the world I knew is gone. Now that I know I've been able to build a new house on it's foundations. I know I can make a home anywhere. Wherever my soul feels like flying to.

 I've lived the ex-pat life and I will continue to live it. I've called many different places home from New York to Kansas, from Cairo to Chiang Mai. There is no other way I would choose to live. 

  In every place I've gone parts of me are deposited locked away in a metaphorical bank box waiting to be opened if I ever choose to set foot there again. And yet I'vee taken as much as I've given. The part you leave creates a vacant space and that hole is filled in by the place you've been. As such, you also take a part of each world you visit with you.

 I am taking Chiang Mai with me, as I've always done. And I am so grateful to have been able to come back and love it one more time.

 Much Love, Now and Always

Sean